The Phantom of Liberty

Well, I’m no English Teacher, nor do I plan on being one, but there are some Grammar Laws that need to be enforced. Either it’s OCD or just years of being fed up with people on the internet being complete idiots, but I am tired of these ignorant and stupid mistakes. So, when my Grammar Laws are put into place here’s what will happen:

Incorrect use or spelling of “Your” or “You’re:” I hate it when people type or write something like this: “your stupid,” Just seeing something like that makes me want to rip someone’s face off. The punishment for this crime shall be… me ripping their face off. Also if they do happen to say, “your stupid,” they have proved how absolutely idiotic they are, and should get the Idiot Award of the Year, an award I invented just now.

Incorrect use of “There,” “Their,” or “They’re:” Now, this one you don’t see as often, but when it pops up, it can be even more annoying than the You’re thing. Now, there will be varying degrees of this crime, considering which on you’re(NOT YOUR!) using. For example: “There going to eat now,” will be treated as a minor offense and they will be forced to sit through a boring lecture about Existentialism for eight hours. “Their awesome,” is a major offense the penalty of which will be… An Idiot of the Year Award and forced to watch a stupid children’s show for several weeks or months considering how frequetly used. Other “They’re,” “Their,” “They’re” related offences will be treated as minor offenses and the punishment shall be… public showing of stupidity… also the crimes above have this as an added punishment.

Incorrect Spelling: First Rule of Life: if you cannot spell it, don’t say it! I hate it when people say words they don’t know how to spell, because if you can’t spell it, you don’t know what it means. Punishment for this crime will be very minor: public humiliation. Of course, there will only be punishment for chronic misspelling, because people can do typos.

Use of an idiotic or Ignorant word. Words such as the N Word and the F Word are idiotic and stupid. I hate when people say them there’s(NOT THEIRS!!!!) no reason to say them. It’s gotten so big to say these words in our society that they have no meaning anymore, also, whenever someone says one of these words, their(NOT THERE!!!!) ignorance shows. Now, I can understand saying them to make a point, like why not to use them, but if you’re(NOT YOUR!!) using them to insult someone, go away and stop talking. The punishment for this crime is so major I don’t even want to mention it.

Typing an Incoherent Sentence: I hate when people do this. If you’re(NOT YOUR!!!) going to type or say something important, make sense. Punishment is… a slap to the face.

Finally, use of Internet Terms or Leet Speak: Please for the love of whatever deity you believe in DO NOT type like this: t|-|1s 1s ttly k3wl. It’s not the ninties, anf you’re(NOT YOUR!) not using a cell phone, please never talk like this. Punishment is… to be eaten by a dinosaur.

Those are my Grammar Laws of the Internet and Writing. If I see anyone break these laws, I will punish them the way they’re(NOT THEIR!) supposed to be punished. Also, if I broke any of these rules myself so far, I’m sorry, I have a bad headache and cannot find the Aspirin. More to come later.

“We have no past, no future. And even if we did, it wouldn’t truly be ours.”

~ by mastercyclon on March 10, 2008. Tagged: Grammar, Rant, Spelling