Quick Grammar Laws Part II
This will be part two of my rant on grammar. So continuing where I left off, I hate it when people do things wrong, they need to do them right. One the things that I get truly annoyed by is grammar, so I will punish people if they break my laws.
Incorrect use of “Whose” or “Who’s:” This isn’t as big a peeve as some other things, but it’s still annoying. Here is an example sentence, Tell me whats wrong with it: Who’s book is this? Now if you answered “B,” you’re in luck, you failed! The correct answer is: It’s Whose not who’s. Who is book is this… fail. The punishment is to eat seven laxatives.
Incorrect use of “It’s” or “Its:” This one bugs me slighty more that the “Who’s” thing because it’s easy to go from one to the other. I’ll give you the words to a song, it’s helped me through the hard times: If you want it to be possessive, you just add the “S;” But if you want it to be a contraction it’s “I-T-’-S” Scallywag. The punishment is a kick in the teeth.
Using “At” or any other preposition incorrectly at the end of a sentence: This is my least favourite of all grammar mistakes, every time I hear it, I want to… well let’s not go into that. The other bad thing about this folly(yes I said folly) is that you hear it everywhere! I can’t turn on a television without hearing one of those stupid “Where you at?” commercials on television. The worst situations are when you’re with family… I’m on my best behaviour, someone asks, “Where are you sitting at?” and it ruined my evening… I don’t even want to go into the punishment for this one.
Typing in all caps or all lower-case: IT GETS REALLY ANNOYING WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THIS ON THE INTERNET, I HATE THEM AND I WANT TO PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE, YOU’RE NOT YELLING AT ME, YOU’RE JUST USING CAPS-LOCK, A THREE-YEAR-OLD CAN DO THIS, IN FACT THAT’S WHAT SOMEONE LOOKS LIKE WHEN THEY TYPE LIKE THIS. the other thing that bugs me is people who type in lower-case, i don’t understand why. it’s just annoying the fact that you don’t capitalize your “i’s” doesn’t make you cool. The punishment for these crimes is one week without food.
Not capitalizing “I” or not using apostrophe’s or not using end punctuation: I really hate it when someone writes or types: “i want to know if theyre coming,” The answer is: “Shut up, and learn grammar!” I’m not a fan of people who are stupid, and I don’t like people who can’t formulate a simple sentence. The punishment is to be eaten by fish.
Incorrectly using “Too” or “To:” One word for all you who violate this: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why would you do it, it looks so idiotic… “everything else is to hard”… My head wants to explode now, thank you for being an idiot! The word you’re looking for is “Too,” that word is the basis of all mankind and when used incorrectly, it kills several babies… no one wants to be a baby-murderer(for those who do want to be baby-murderers, I guess using it incorrectly makes babies happy) so don’t do it. There is no punishment for this one, you just murdered several babies, what more can I do?
Well, that’s all I can think about for now, but if I come up with more I’ll rant about them. Yes, I have no life. Oh! wait! First, a haiku:
Haiku’s are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator
“We have no past, no future. And even if we did, it wouldn’t truly be ours.”
March 17th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Ditto on my last post. I agreet with all of these and I chuckled as I read. This will also be shared with my stewdunts. Man, that’s just torture.
ttyl
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:34 pm
WaT R u tALkinG ABOut. GrAMAr ANd PuNCtUAtiOn iz liEK thE BeSTEST ThINGz evar. i lUV it. GaWd.
However, more intelligently, you are a very angry person. Sometimes, people and their stupidity is unavoidable.